Blar!

Oh friends, what a month it's been! I was flying pretty high in early December, loving the new Weight Watchers program changes that let me eat all the fruit I want for zero Points values. It's purely psychological, I know, but for some reason when something's "free" I'm going to take more of it. And when it's delicious, fiber-filled fruit my body was SO HAPPY. I was dropping pounds and my digestive system was humming along like a UNI Men's Glee Club member at the Christmas Show. :)

I started the Couch to 5K training program, and by the middle of week two was really enjoying myself. I had just started to think of myself as "a runner" when I went BAM. Literally - in the parking lot of my office last Monday, on a patch of ice, and I hyper-extended my left knee again. I've done this twice since I injured it in 2007 at my brother's wedding, dancing with a drunk groomsman. That's an occupational hazard for bridesmaids that no one ever warns you about!

Finally went to see my family doctor yesterday, after a week of hobbling around and trying various knee braces, and the news was OK. The x-rays showed no damage to the knee joint, and the tendons surrounding it appear to be intact. The doctor thinks I pulled the quadriceps tendon around the knee, and nothing but rest, ice, elevation, and a healthy dose of anti-inflammatory drugs will do the trick. If it's not better in two weeks, I'm supposed to go back for an MRI to see if the tendons have been torn or otherwise damaged.

So what have I done? I've been cushioning my injured knee with a steady diet of chocolate and red wine, accompanied by massive amounts of Chinese food. Sensible, no? I'm afraid to even go NEAR the scale - not that I could, since getting on the scale requires that I balance myself on one leg, which I can't do right now. Blar.

So, we begin again the slow process of climbing back onto the wagon. Seriously - I've been farting around with this since August, and just when I get on what feels like a good track something happens to throw me off again. Granted, I tend to make it easier to get myself throw off by jumping off the wagon into piles of Chinese food. I'm a VERY slow learner.

So, the plan for 2011? For the first two weeks of it, anyway? Try to hobble down to the basement "gym" every day for a session with the punching bag and/or resistance bands, and laying off the Chinese food for a while. I make no promises about the red wine, however. :)

Happy New Year, friends! May our year be merry and bright - and injury-free! :)

Talking turkey

Isn't everyone today? But I really don't care about turkey - take it, leave it, not dark meat (ever!) - so tomorrow's centerpiece just doesn't do much for me. It's the side dishes, friends - THE SIDES. Scalloped corn, cranberry relish, cranberry salads (not the cranberry jelly that actually still tastes like the can), pumpkin pie, and dinner rolls, dinner rolls, dinner rolls. I've never met a carbohydrate I didn't like, so tomorrow will be like nirvana for me.

I have plans to work out first thing tomorrow morning, before heading to my aunt's house to help her with her banking, then heading to ANOTHER aunt's house for the annual feast. Let's see if those plans actually come to fruition. Check back and see if I did it!

I'm trying (inspired by my fellow weight-loss blogger Sarah) to come up with a fun challenge to do in 2011. Sarah's been baking her way through The Bread Bakers Apprentice, but my aforementioned carb addiction makes me afraid to do that. I love this site - GreenLiteBites - so maybe challenging myself to make a new recipe (or three!) from that site each week will help? I need to get much better at planning and preparing healthy meals, rather than defaulting to whatever is in the pantry or on my way home from work.

Additional inspiration for weight loss - Sarah's getting married! My goal is to be the second-hottest woman at her wedding; Sarah being the first. :) She hasn't set a wedding date yet, but I'm telling myself she's getting married in April so I can kick it into gear.

Oh yeah - the scale. I'm up about 1.5 pounds this week, which isn't bad considering that I haven't really tracked anything this week. And that ain't likely to start again anytime soon. But I can't just coast through the holidays, as tempting as that might be - after all, Gerard Butler is waiting for me in Dublin and I can't run the risk of my squishy bottom lapping over the bar stool in the pub and scaring him away. Yep, my fantasy life is almost as rich as my dessert preferences.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Slowly...

So, I'm slowly climbing back on the wagon. I haven't done much by way of exercise this week, but the scale this morning showed I'm down 3 pounds from last week. I love it when the Weight Watchers site gives me those "you're losing weight too fast" notices from week to week. Yeah, not so much. :) I'm down 8.2 pounds since I started the program at the end of August, which gives me an average loss of 0.8 pounds a week - totally healthy, and PAINFULLY slow. Oh well.

I leave for my birthday trip to Dublin on Feb. 15 - that's 90 days, or just under 13 weeks from now. Averaging 1 pound per week, I could be down 20 pounds before I go. That's less than I'd like to be, but I'll take anything right about now. I had a dream the other night that I met up with a Gerard Butler look-a-like in Dublin, and if that isn't motivation to keep losing weight I don't know what is. :)

Scenes from my morning

Editor's note: Every thing in this post actually happened this morning. NOTHING has been embellished. Even I couldn't make this stuff up.

5:30 a.m. – Alarm begins blaring across the room. Fall out of bed (literally: roll over too close to the edge, slide out of bed and land on backside) and stumble over to turn off alarm. Head back to bed “for just a few minutes” because it’s cold and dark out here. Vaguely remember setting alarm for this unholy hour so you could get in kickboxing workout this morning, as brother’s birthday party is tonight.

7:26 a.m. – roll over and look at clock. Realize you must leave by 8 a.m. to get to work on time, and your unshowered state cannot continue. Run to bathroom.

7:46 a.m. – Showered. Teeth brushed. Now moisturizing all parts of face and neck that you are terrified will begin sagging soon, making you look like a shar-pei dog without the cuteness factor. Carefully pat eye cream around eyes to take away puffiness.

7:48 a.m. – Realize that application of eye cream has irritated left contact lens, and now feels like a railroad tie is lodged between contact lens and eyeball. Begin squinting and blinking furiously. Getting worse. Hop around bathroom, chanting "Ow ow ow!" Finally remove, rinse, and reinsert contact and realize all this has completely counteracted application of eye cream. Left eye now bloodshot, giving you the appearance of having been on an all-night Johnny Walker bender. Very professional.

8:03 a.m. – Remove new tights from package, realize they have a snag. Thanks, Target. Gamble that snag will be hidden under knee-high boots. Gamble pays off. Spend four minutes coaxing faux-leather knee-high boots to zip over your calves, which are roughly the size of Christmas hams. Are successful, but now rather sweaty. Sacrifices must be made for fashion.

8:16 a.m. – Climb into car, snagging hem of long skirt on heel of faux-leather boots. Manage not to slam head against steering wheel while removing boot heel from hem. Fortunate, as head wounds would enhance Johnny Walker bender appearance.

8:28 a.m. – Hear the song “Jesse’s Girl” on radio, making you think of that jerk you dated five years ago named Jesse, who made you really like him then decided he’d rather date the woman who set you up with him. Try not to cry. Remember he's now married to that woman. Try harder not to cry. Long desperately for chocolate. Or Swedish Fish. Possibly both.

8:42 a.m. – Arrive at work. Find small container of Swedish Fish in desk. Remember stash of chocolate VitaTops in work freezer (100 calories and SO GOOD). Salvation. Remember brother's birthday party is tonight, complete with fantastic freaky family and adorable niece.

Gonna be an all right day.

Hear that?

That strange sound? It's kinda like... "WHOMP...thumpa...thumpa...thumpa..."

That was me, falling off the wagon and landing in a giant pile of Chinese food and Tootsie Rolls, then bouncing. Halloween was NOT good to me. Strike that - Halloween was VERY good, but not for my weight loss efforts. I pretty much went off the rails until this past weekend, eating any and everything that crossed my path. And that path seemed to intersect with lots of mini Three Musketeers bars.

So - onward. :)

Sunday I walked the Iowa State Fairgrounds 5K with Sarah Jane. Sarah is an awesome walking partner, and cheered me on as we chugged up the hills through the Fair Campgrounds. Thank you, Sarah, for keeping me going while I sucked wind like a defective balloon. I am still feeling those hills in my quadriceps today.

Have I mentioned how much I love the Fair and the Fairgrounds? That place and the events that happen there are some of the main drivers (besides my fantastically freaky family) for my still being in Iowa. Sure, there's an apparent dearth of tall, single men in their 30s who love Jesus, and airfares out of Des Moines to anywhere cool are (for the most part) ridiculous - but WE HAVE THE FAIR! Hands up if you agree with me...

The Fairgrounds 5K was a great event, with fantastic November weather. It was neat to see the Fairgrounds without the crush of mullet/tank top-sporting people packing the streets. There are some beautiful green spaces there that you usually can't see during the Fair because they're packed with caramel apple stands - which are also beautiful, but in a different way. The helpful signs at the mile markers told us when we'd burned off a bag of cotton candy, then a caramel apple (thereby extracting most of the enjoyment out of them for me), and finally a corn dog at the three-mile mark. Not helpful, Iowa State Fair people, if you want to keep your corn dog sales numbers increasing. :) Nevertheless, I had a blast and will be back for next year's event - but probably won't be sporting a swimsuit entirely covered in State Fair ribbons like one participant. A brave woman, she.

Now Sarah and I are looking for more race events in the coming months. Next up - the Jingle Jog at Gray's Lake in December, then the YMCA's Red Flannel Run in February. We will have quite an impressive collection of brightly-colored long-sleeve t-shirts by spring.

I also hit (quite literally) the kickboxing hard last night. I could only make it about 25 minutes, but they were a good 25 minutes. Sunday's walk really highlighted how far out of shape I'd gotten. Sarah made me feel better by pointing out that Sunday was the first really strenuous exercise I'd done in about eight weeks, and I was feeling it. Now it's time to claw my way back, and I started last night with a great session of bag work and some push-ups/sit-ups. I can still do full-on sit-ups, which is a point of pride for me. I am woman, watch me struggle to hoist myself into a sitting position!

Oh, yeah - the scale. I am up two pounds from my post-Vegas weight, which means I've gone back up about four pounds since the end of September. Easy come, not-so-easy go. But they'll go - until I fall off the wagon into a vat of Christmas cookies. :)

Avoidance

I got back from Vegas on Monday night, and am scared to get on the scale. Yes, I - a 32-year-old, 5'10" woman - am scared of a contraption made of metal and elaborate pully-weights-thingies.

I don't know why I'm so scared - I didn't go crazy eating-wise in Vegas (we didn't have time!). Yes, I probably had more McDonald's breakfast sandwiches than I should have (sausage is my drug), but I had to walk about half a mile from my hotel room to get them. And I was usually either pushing the stroller or toting my 30-pound niece as I walked. My big indulgence of the weekend was the overpriced margarita from Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville on The Strip - but it was so stinkin' good it was worth it. And, again, we'd walked at least half a mile to get it.

So, even if I did gain weight, it probably won't be as bad as I thought. So why am I so afraid? Because I know me and my fatalistic, all-or-nothing way of thinking. If I have a big gain now, it will likely knock me off track for another several months. I'll fall off the wagon HARD again, and heaven knows when I'll pick myself back up. It's far too easy to go back to all-coffee-and-Swedish-Fish, all the time.

So, I'm easing myself back into routine, tracking Points, drinking lots of hot water with decaf tea, and waiting until Monday to get back on the scale. I'm hoping I won't have lost any ground at that point - and that I'll have enough energy to get up early enough to actually brave the basement stairs and get ON the scale.

All clear...

No time for a big post today, so quick updates:

• Down 0.5 pounds last week. Curses. It's still a downward motion, but each time I hope for bigger numbers. Perhaps I should be chanting "No Whammy" a la "The Price is Right" instead. Speaking of, did you know Drew Carey has lost 70 pounds in the last year? Must be all that running down the aisle for the Showcase Showdown...
• Went to the doctor yesterday and got the all clear for exercising and lifting heavy things again. No longer will my cute little niece need to stay on the floor! Hurrah! Hugs for everyone!
• My new punching bag has arrived at the store and is awaiting my pick-up. Let the pummelling begin.
• I leave Thursday night for a four-day vacation in Las Vegas with my family. I'm dreading stepping on the scale when I get back. I don't want to fall completely off the wagon, but c'mon - it's VEGAS. I want to have a drink (possibly several) and not worry about the points value of said drink (and its companions). I guess I'll do the best I can, and pay the piper on Tuesday when I get home.

Update

I totally forgot that I owed the Internet an update on my Monday weigh-in. The fact that the Internet hasn't risen up in open rebellion shows me just how important my updates really are, but hey - I'm writing this for me, not for you, Internet. So take that.

I was down a big ol' 1.3 pounds this week, which means I'm thisclose (1 pound) to being back where I was in early October. We'll see what the crazy 2.3 pound gain was all about - the doctor has me on new medication that is known to cause weight gain, and I've been on it for about eight weeks. The weight gain usually happens over three months, so I'm hoping this is it. HOPING.

So, seven weeks back on Weight Watchers, eight pounds - not bad. Not as fast as I want, of course, but since when did I ever get anything in life as fast as I want? I remember being disappointed that I didn't transform into a supermodel during 10 weeks at Farrell's, and having to tell myself, "Self, you didn't get this fat in 10 weeks, so it's not coming off in 10 weeks either, right? RIGHT?" (I tend to yell at myself a lot in my inner monologue. I'm kinda dramatic. Just in case you hadn't picked up on that.)

In fitness news, I've ordered my own freestanding punching bag which is currently being shipped to me. For the price of two month's at Farrell's, I'll be able to enjoy the stress-relieving benefits of pounding the crap out of something anytime I want. Plus, I won't have to listen to Motley Crue at 6 a.m. ever again. There is no downside here.

Decisions, decisions...

My father had something interesting to say last night.

(That sentence makes it sound like this is a monumental event. It isn't - my father often says interesting things. Most of them have to do with people who lived in our neighborhood 50 years ago whom I never met, but he does say interesting things on other topics as well. Moving on...)

He was watching me pack up my lunch for today, carefully measuring out grapes and low-fat granola, and said, "You know, Weasel (Shut up. That's my nickname in my family. Use it without my permission and I'll cut you.), you were never happier with yourself than when you were going to Farrell's. You used to come home from there with a big smile on your face every morning."

"Yeah," I replied, "and then I collapsed into a giant sweaty heap on the floor..."

But his comment got me thinking. I really did feel great about myself and my body when I was working out at Farrell's regularly, and I was really proud of what I had accomplished and what my body could do. And now I'm wondering - was it the program itself, or just the fact that I was pushing myself and achieving fitness goals I'd never achieved before? Can I do it on my own, or do I need the structure and external motivation of a program/class setting? I'd like to think I could do it on my own (and save myself the program fees and drive time) but I've clearly not been very successful at motivating myself. As I told the Farrell's Altoona manager when I signed up, and he warned me that he was going to push my fitness levels: "Clearly, I'm not having any success at kicking my own butt - I need you to do it for me. " I thought I had made progress past that point, but the past year shows I have not.

So - verdict? Do I head back to Farrell's (once the doc clears me on the 18th, that is) or try to kick my own butt at home? How do I get myself in "butt-kicking mode" without having an instructor and scary 80s music at 6 a.m. each day? :)

Rollercoaster... oooh oooh oooh...

[Great - now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all morning. Way to go, Ivy...]

Weigh-in yesterday showed a whopping 2.3 pound gain. I can attribute it to lack of water consumption over the weekend, hormones, the fact that I discovered the glory of old-fashioned oats again on Sunday and had TWO bowls, the Flarah's cheesecake on Saturday, but - whatever. I'm not getting worked up about it at this point. I just don't have the energy. I got back on the scale again this morning, hoping that upping my water yesterday and keeping my POINTS low would help, and it did - to the tune of 0.3 pounds. Again - whatever. I'm not going to obsess about it until weigh-in next week. If I'm still up in this neighborhood, then more serious actions will be taken. I have no idea what those might be, but they'll be SERIOUS. :)

I went to bed at 8:45 again yesterday. I was hoping that by this point in my recovery process I would have graduated out of 3rd grade bedtimes at least into middle school, but clearly not yet. My body is in charge of this process, not me, so I've got to go where it's leading me right now. And it's leading me to bed, after large amounts of old-fashioned oats. See you when I emerge from the carbohydrate coma.

Motivation

I've decided when I get to goal weight, I'm buying these. Possibly in every color. I realize doing so may require me to go without niceties like food or gasoline for an extended period of time, but hey - sacrifices must be made for fashion.

Baby steps

Weigh-in yesterday showed I was down 0.2 pounds. As my father would say, "It's moving in the right direction..." Especially considering I haven't been able to move around much after surgery, and am still trying to get back into my normal routine. The last three nights I've gone to bed at 8:30. It's like being in 3rd grade again. Actually, considering leggings, giant belts, and white plastics sunglasses for guys are back in style, the world actually is like it was when I was in 3rd grade. Except now I can drive a car - and I no longer perm my hair.

I'm looking forward to being able to move around more freely again, and to lifting things over 10 pounds. It kills me when my niece launches herself at my knees and hugs me, and I can't pick her up. But I'm halfway through my recovery period, so it's all downhill from here!

I'm hopeful that I'll be back up to speed for the Minnesota Teen Challenge 10K on Oct. 16 - I'm walking with my friend Pati, and I may be walking very slowly. :) If you'd like to support me as I walk (at a moderate pace!) visit my fundraising page here. Teen Challenge is an amazing organization that helps people break free of chemical dependency, and this event is their first fundraising walk. I may have to investigate a hernia truss or something to get me through, but I'll be there! :)

Holy cats, this stuff is working...

Morning weigh-in today showed a loss of 3.7 pounds since last week. No telling how much of that was scar tissue the surgeon took out last Tuesday, but I'll take it!

It made me giggle that I got a "you are losing weight too fast" notice from the Weight Watchers Web site when I entered my weight today. Now, I know that it is a danger to lose weight too fast in that it compromises muscle tissue and leads to other health problems. But, in light of the week I've had, it ain't a bad way to begin a Monday. :)

Friday fail, Monday win, Tuesday trial...

So, it's been quite the week here in Ivy land. I started this post on Monday, and am just now able to sit upright long enough to finish it. Aaack.

Last Friday, my company hosted a tailgate party in honor of the upcoming Iowa-Iowa State bloodletting... ah, I mean, game. :) Sandwiches and cookies the size of my FACE were catered by QuikTrip, which is located at the end of our access road and I'm sure sees a ton of business from out employees. I chose the Chicken Cucumber Caesar Wrap, thinking with that many good things in the name it had to be relatively healthy, right? WRONG. I was halfway through it before I read the nutritional content and choked. How could there be 30 grams of fat in one wrap? And how could I finish the rest of it after reading that? But finish I did, as well as the white chocolate macadamia nut cookie the size of my face. FAIL. And the wrap wasn't even that great. (When I mentioned this to my friend Sarah, she said, "What? Ivy, are you saying that gas station food isn't of the highest quality?" Yeah, I know...)

But I redeemed myself on Monday, by posting a 2.8 pound loss for the week. YEAH, BABY! Take THAT, QT chicken wraps! :) But I didn't have long to savor my victory, as I had to get ready for the outpatient surgery I was having on Tuesday. And by "get ready" I mean "choke down two bottles of vile lemon-tasting cleanser that would send me running to the bathroom every 10 minutes for the rest of the night." Good times. But hey, nothing like a bowel cleanse to help with the weight loss efforts! Not that I'll be doing another one any time soon - like EVER.

Surgery Tuesday was OK - the doctor had to do a great deal more mucking around in my innards than she thought she would, which has made my recovery that much slower. Today (Saturday) is the first day I've been sitting upright more than I haven't, and my big accomplishment is that I can rise from a chair without grabbing for sturdy objects to use as I pull myself up. For a girl who this time last year was counting how many sit-ups she could do, not being able to actually sit up from bed without serious pain is quite an adjustment. This is the first time I can recall being seriously incapacitated, and I'm not a fan. Plus, the doctor found some things during surgery that lead her to believe that when Mr. Ivy Sprague *finally* shows up and we decide we want to have adorable redheaded babies, it may not be without some complications. That also threw me for a loop, and I'm still trying to deal with it. But I keep reminding myself that I serve a great big God, who could make little redheaded babies happen while I'm sitting at this laptop without medical or human intervention. And I fully believe He will when the time is right - and that He'll probably choose more conventional means. :)

All that being said, I'm drinking tons of water (especially now that it's easier to get up off the couch and make it to the bathroom!) and staying within my Points range for Weight Watchers all this week. My first post-surgery meal was old-fashioned oats with raisins and brown sugar, and it was one of the BEST things I've tasted in a long while. Beats gas station wraps all to heck. :)

Aloha, Interwebs...

Hey, friends. It's been a while since I posted, but that's because I've been so busy doing so AWESOME on Weight Watchers. :) Weigh-in yesterday morning showed a 1.5 pound loss, which was less than I was hoping for, but is still a loss nonetheless. I'll take it!

I've been finding all kinds of fantastic recipes on weightwatchers.com, including this one that I made last week (and just finished the leftovers for lunch today). Who would have thought that putting allspice and red pepper flakes on pork chops would make them so fantastic? And a pineapple salsa with apricots and cilantro - yum. That same night, I whipped up a pineapple angel food cake (super-tasty, and super-low-calorie) and felt the "aloha" all over the place. :) I even convinced Mom and Dad to try a turkey and mango creation, and they loved it. Dad was so funny, saying after he finished dinner, "Hey - let's remember this one. I'd like to see it again in a couple weeks..." I love it when Dad makes dinner entrees sound like blind date. :)

I'm still struggling with fitting in exercise. I've joined a workout challenge at the office, where we need to log at least four hours of activity every week. Doesn't matter what kind of activity, just as long as we get moving for four hours a week - and there are extra vacation days in the bargain if I can do it from now until Thanksgiving! There's a motivator!

Better food tastes better...

I was going to title this post "Good food tastes better..." but I rebel at the idea of labeling things "good food" versus "bad food". Food is food - it all boils down to calories that we take in and burn off (or don't). So, I'll choose "better" food to describe these, which I made for dinner tonight. Seriously - NOM NOM NOM. They are so very good, and there's plenty left for lunch tomorrow. NOM!! :) Put fresh ingredients into simple combinations, and NOM. :) Better food really does taste better.

I sat down last night with the weekly ads from Fareway and Hy-Vee, and planned out dinners for the week and made the shopping lists. The ads, plus some trusty resources on the Interwebs, gave me enough ideas to put together healthy meals for the whole week. I signed up for Weight Watchers Online again, and am using their handy recipe finder for ideas.

I've done a lot of thinking (if only thinking could substitute for weight-lifting - if it did, I would be RIPPED!) the past few weeks about why it's been so challenging for me to stick with my eating and exercise plans. And I think I've come to a conclusion: While my Farrell's Bodyshaping experience last summer was fantastic, and taught me so much about what my body was really capable of doing, it's a challenge for me to keep at it long-term. Farrell's is pretty much all or nothing, and that's great, because it's only 10 weeks. I can do anything for 10 weeks, and I did. And it worked. But can I do it that hard-core for the next 10 (or 20 or 30 or 40 or 50) years (Lord willing!)? That's the prospect I found daunting, and why I chose to go back to Weight Watchers.

When I was the thinnest I've ever been (those three glorious weeks in 2001 when I was a size 10) it was because of Weight Watchers. I like the plan, I like the flexibility, and I like the idea of not having to wait until a weekly "free day" to have Swedish Fish (don't judge me). But regardless of what plan I (or you) choose to follow, I have to remain committed and accountable. So what if I blow it and eat the entire container of Swedish Fish, and chase it with a margarita and a tub of Ben & Jerry's? That may be completely acceptable, if I have the calories left to do it and I account for it. Is it a smart idea? Nope. But it's acceptable, and that's all I need right now.

In so many areas of my life lately, I believe God is making slow, small changes that are going to last a lifetime. I want a healthy lifestyle to be one of them, and if slow, small changes are the way to get there, then here we go.

Blown off course...

Hey, friends. It's been pretty much a week of fail here eating/exercise wise - though I did march Mom out for a 25-minute power walk Monday night along our country roads. Tracked my food Monday through Wednesday, and I worshipped at the altar of Mistress Jillian on Tuesday (once I could walk up the stairs again, thanks to her squats) but then Wednesday just blew me all over the place. I've been dealing with some girly problems (which I won't detail here, to spare whatever male readers I may have!) since last winter, and they flared up big and bad Wednesday night and sent me to the ER Wednesday at 11 p.m. These are the nights I am glad I don't live alone, and have a parent nearby to fire up the SUV and drive me downtown. I was home from work recovering yesterday, and am pretty much back on track today (if you don't count the Whopper Junior and Swedish Fish on my desk right now. Swedish Fish - I KNOW. Why can't I quit you, little red bits of gummy goodness?!?).

I have to wait for the consulting physician to get back in town Monday, and then talk with her about scheduling exploratory surgery to determine the cause of said girly problems. Please know that this problem is NOT serious or life-threatening, but it is compromising my quality of life (see 11 p.m. ER trip above) so my doctors and I think it's time to dig deeper to see what's happening. Even if that digging requires a laproscope actually digging in ME. Eeek. As long as I can still bang out sit-ups when we're done, it's all good.

Back to Mistress Jillian this weekend! Bring it!

Locus of control

The title comes from a fancy-pants theory in social psychology, which basically boils down to whether people believe their happiness in life comes as a result of their own actions or results from forces outside their control. People with high internal locus of control think they "make their own luck" while people with external locus of control are turning to fate or chance for explanations. I first came across this term in college, thanks to friends studying education, and the phrase has come back to me time and again in the past decade as I look at how people respond to what life hands them. It came back to me yesterday as I thought over the events of the past few weeks.

Those of you who have rolled with me for a while :) know that I ceded control of my life and my future to Jesus a long time ago. And for the most part, it's been pretty fantastic. However, since I got back from my London trip things have been a little rocky. Jesus did some amazing things for my mind and my way of thinking about myself earlier this summer, but the revolutionized-self-image high has begun to fade a bit and I've found myself slipping back into old patterns. You know, the existing-on-a-diet-where-the-primary-components-are-coffee-and-Swedish-Fish, sleeping-in-until-the-last-possible-moment-before-work, letting-the-dust-gather-on-the-Jillian-Michaels-DVD-cases kind of patterns? (Even typing the line about coffee and Swedish Fish makes my stomach turn, and yet I've done it more times than I care to count in the last four weeks...)

I felt so much better about life and myself when I was exercising semi-regularly and eating... well, not "better" per se, but at least eating less junk. But I've allowed other things and other excuses to take me away from that and I've slid back into the old patterns of behavior and thinking. And I feel like crap. No more. NO MORE, I say. Jesus has pruned away those old patterns, and once He's cut them off they CANNOT grow back. With His help, I won't let them.

This last month I've been forced to think quite a bit about the things I can and cannot control in my life. Here's what I've settled on:

- I cannot control cancer, flood waters, and bad drivers on I-235.

- I cannot control the cute guy I met through ChristianMingle.com, who seemed totally in to e-mailing me for two weeks and has since been totally silent in the last two weeks. :::begin rant::: Through on-line dating I have met two different single men, a decade apart, who were pastors. They are the two who have treated me the worst in my decade of singleton life. You'd think it would be the other way around, wouldn't you? Is this something they're teaching in seminary now - how to dump Internet girls by disappearing from their In Boxes? Just write to me and tell me you're not interested anymore, Reverend Lamebrain... :::end rant:::

- I cannot control the crazy ways my body reacts to heat, hormones, and high stress levels - but I can control how I adapt to them.

- I cannot control the plan God has ordered for my life.

- I can control the way I seek after God's plan for my life, and the level of faith I place in His plan.

- I can control the foods I put into my body, and the thoughts I allow to occupy my mind.

- I can control the way I react to the absence of e-mail from Cute ChristianMingle.com Guy (calling him Reverend Lamebrain probably isn't the best choice - but it made me laugh. And right now that seems like the best option.).

- I can control my lying down and my rising up, and the activities I choose to do in between.

- I can control my Saturday mornings, and spending them going back to Level 1 of Mistress Jillian's "30 Day Shred" as I did this morning. (Squats. Ow. Double ow.)

- I can control my Saturday morning on November 7, when I've signed up to run my first 5K race at the Iowa State Fairgrounds. (Yikes. Double yikes.)

- I can choose, today and every day, how I think about myself and my body, and choose to thank God that He has made me just exactly the way I am - beautiful and strong, getting stronger every day, and coming each day closer and closer to the amazing woman He has designed me to be for His glory.

I choose life.

I choose glory.

I choose hope.

I choose to step away from my BlackBerry, to stop wondering why it isn't buzzing with a new e-mail, and go run.

Run far (well, at least run one kilometer to start).

Run fast.

Run hard.

Run after Jesus.

And find myself along the way.

Now you...

CHOOSE.

But I'm not dead yet...

Well hello, Interwebs. Did you think I'd forgotten you? No, no - I've just been dealing with things like travel, heat waves, and family medical problems. I'm conveniently using those as excuses for not exercising and eating junk, then wondering why I'm so tired and don't have the energy to deal with all these things that are coming at me. Gee.

But those things should be wrapping themselves up (except the heat waves part - it is Iowa in summer, after all) and I'm planning to be back in the saddle soon. Stick with me, Interwebs - I'll be back.

Back in the saddle again...

Hello, faithful readers. :) I'm happy to report that everything in England's fair and pleasant land is good, and that London in early July is waaaaaay more humid and hot than I ever anticipated. Highs during the first three days of my visit were over 90 degrees, and though I have no official humidity readings from the BBC, I estimate humidity was approximately 1,000 percent. And since my fourth-floor hotel room had no air conditioning (and I'm convinced the radiator in the hall outside my room was STILL ON) there was no strenuous exercise for me. Now, I'm all for making excuses whenever possible, but I really do think worshipping at the altar of Mistress Jillian would have been hazardous in those conditions. At least that's what I told myself.

Instead, I walked - and I sweat - and I walked - and I sweat. I drank water, and drank water, and drank water - then I sweat some more. The only place in London that had any kind of cooling breeze those first three days was down by the Thames River, which meant walking three blocks to the subway station, down the stairs, on the train, up the stairs, and walking three blocks to the river. Rinse and repeat for the trip back to the hotel. Thankfully, the weather broke on Sunday and the next four days were much more bearable. Just as much walking, but slightly less sweating. And I managed to keep my eating under control thanks to fabulous little sandwich shops and grocery stores that listed calorie contents on the packages. Londoners are big on grabbing sandwiches and salads at these places to take back to their homes/offices (say "take away" rather than "to go", otherwise the counter clerks stare at you strangely) so I did lots of that. And the Sainsbury's grocery store on the way to my hotel from Victoria Station had these HUGE tubs of ripe, freshly-cut pineapple for approximately 3 bucks. I grabbed one of those and a chicken sandwich for several of my meals. Everything was proudly labelled as containing "British chicken", which made me picture little chickens dressed as Admiral Nelson, strutting about with one wing lopped off. :) I couldn't finish all the pineapple in one sitting, so I'd leave it in my room when I went out for the evening to finish off later. I'd come back and, owing to the heat in my room, the whole place smelled like pineapple. Couple that with the coconut-scented shampoo I'd bought in 3-ounces bottles, and it was like living in a pina colada! Without all the calories!! :)

All the walking/sweating/pineapple eating apparently paid off, since I am now officially down FIVE POUNDS since I started this blog. I have a bad feeling it's because I haven't done any weight training in two weeks, and those five pounds will come back as soon as I do, but right now I'm going to soak in that five pound loss until my fingers get all pruney. And I'm going to buy some yarn this weekend before any of that weight comes back. Quickly, to the KnitPicks.com Web site!! :)

Confessions...

It's been nearly a week since I had a date with Mistress Jillian and her squats of wonder. I was all pumped up last Tuesday, and since then the stress of trying to figure out if I'm nuts for heading off to a foreign country for a week by myself has sucked out all of my ambition. Plus, nearly everyone I work with has been on vacation all last week (and the office is still empty today) and it turns out I do NOT work well without social interactions at regular intervals. I'm unproductive and grumpy all day at work, which means I go home and want to do nothing but knit and eat chocolate ice cream. Which is exactly what I've done for the last week. I've gained a completed pair of wool socks, and lost the emerging muscle tone in my biceps. Good trade? I don't think so.

This trip to London started out as my single girl adventure into the wide, wide world, and a chance to see how God might speak to me when everything (and I mean, EVERYTHING!) familiar is stripped away. Now, it's just freaking me out, and I'm afraid I'll cower in my hotel room all week and not do all the amazing things I have planned in my itinerary spreadsheet. (Of course there's an itinerary spreadsheet. Remember who you're dealing with, here.) Worse, I'm afraid that my high, high hopes for this trip will be completely dashed by the time it's over and I'll be questioning all the things I thought I knew. Who has two thumbs and puts incredibly unreasonable high-pressure expectations on a vacation? THIS GIRL. (thumbs pointing to chest that hasn't done a push-up in six days)

But, for better or worse, the carry-on suitcase is packed and waiting at home and I'm driving to Minneapolis tomorrow to catch Iceland Air Flight 656 at 7:20 p.m. And my resistance band is packed in the suitcase, and Mistress Jillian's Level 2 workout is on my iPod.

Here we go.

Beautiful somehow...

I was at a church committee meeting Tuesday night, and was sharing with the group some of the changes in my thinking that have happened over the last few weeks. We were discussing the passage of John 15 where Jesus said He was the vine, and those of us who follow Him are the branches. Jesus said in that passage that He cuts off everything in our lives that doesn't bear fruit, and that's exactly what I believe He's done for me the past few weeks. He's cut off all the old hang-ups and lies I used to cling to - that no man would ever be attracted to me because I didn't have biceps like Jennifer Aniston's, that I'll always be fat and unhappy, that it's impossible for me to be strong and healthy and happy in this body that I have. I'm getting rid of all that stuff, and Jesus is cutting it all off and throwing it in the fire where it belongs.

As I shared these things with the committee members (well, not the biceps part - a slightly edited version!) my sweet friend Mary looked across the room at me and said, "And you look more beautiful, Ivy." I started to choke up as I thanked her, and realized what the old Ivy would have thought:

Old Ivy: "That's just Mary - she says stuff like that. She's only doing it to be nice. Nobody else here thinks I'm beautiful."

New Ivy: "Thank you, Mary. I feel more beautiful - and that's what really matters."

And, thanks be, New Ivy was the one who spoke Tuesday night. And she's still talking.

In other news - I can now totally rock Mama Elephant push-ups. Bring it, world. :)

Blar...

(I stole the title of this post from my fellow fitness blogger Sarah, because it totally captures how I feel right now. Thanks, Sarah!)

I did not work out this morning, and slept later than I should. I ate entirely too many cranberry-walnut-oatmeal cookies yesterday and today (totally voiding the two intense workouts I did Saturday and Sunday). I drank way more Diet Coke this afternoon than I should have. I'm retaining more water than the Hoover Dam right now, so the scale yesterday showed I'm back up to the weight I was three weeks ago. My feet are swollen (see Hoover Dam reference above), so even though these sandals looked totally cute when I bought them a month ago, today I think they look like my 83-year-old grandmother is wearing them instead of a fun, stylish 32-year-old. Since I slept too late, I had to do the wet-hair-into-a-scraggly-ponytail style today.

Consequently, I feel shaky-weak-tired-bloated-hungry-nauseated-frustrated-ugly-blar.

BLAR.

BLAR.

And as I say it out loud (with feeling!) while I'm writing, then I make myself laugh. And I get up tomorrow and start over again.

Blar.

Hee hee.

Dear Level 2 of the "30 Day Shred"...

Dear Level 2 of the "30 Day Shred",

This is a difficult letter for me to write, but there are some things that need to be said. I know our relationship is still in the early stages, but in the spirit of truth I need to tell you some things.

First, it is totally not fair of you to be such a dramatic departure from your little brother Level 1. I was rocking Level 1, and feeling all smug and strong that I could do "real" push-ups, and then you had to go throw things like "plank jacks" at me and make me feel like a big ol' wimp. When I'm crawling out of bed at 6:15 to meet you, I would appreciate you not shaming me by forcing me to wheeze like an asthmatic horse in the middle of the workout.

Second, WHAT is up with all the "plank position" exercises? Do you not KNOW how whacked out my center of gravity is? I was given these giant thighs for a reason - let me use them to support myself! My wimpy arms cannot do it! They are screaming for mercy by the middle of the second set!

Finally, and this is the most painful part, but I have to say that YOU BETTER WORK AND WORK SOON. Otherwise, we are totally breaking up. And no, it's not me - it's you. It can't possibly be me and my abysmal level of fitness and the fact that I've overslept the past two days and this morning was my first workout since Monday. It has to be you. IT HAS TO BE.

Feeling especially shouty,
Ivy

The Mama Elephants

So, given that I felt like I was breezing through the level 1 workouts on the "30 Day Shred", I thought Saturday would be a great day to move up to level 2.

Riiiiiiiiiight.

Level 2 is a whole different world than level 1. Level 1 was kind of on par with the moves I was used to from Farrell's, and I think I did OK. Level 2 is VERY different, starting with the very first strength move - a little something Jillian calls "walking push-ups". I have renamed them the "Mama Elephant" since I imagine that's what I look like when I do them.

Here's the run-down:

• From a standing position, bend down to touch your toes.
• Walk your hands out in front of you until you are in a push-up position.
• Drop down into a push-up.
• Push back up into the upright push-up position.
• Walk your hands back to your toes before standing upright again.
• Repeat 10 times.
• Pause briefly on rep 6 to think about what a lumbering idiot you must look like.
• After rep 10, fall onto squishy pink yoga mat and wheeze uncontrollably for the 5 seconds Jillian allows you to rest.
• Lumber to your feet and move on to next exercise in the circuit, knowing the walking push-ups/Mama Elephants are coming back in just 2 minutes.

It's super-neat.

Weigh in this week showed another 1.5 pound loss, and - desperate for some positive affirmation - I took my measurements again. Overall, I'm down about an inch, which I guess is OK. I can feel myself falling into the same trap of thinking I had while I was doing Farrell's 10-week program, where I expected to miraculously reach my goals within the 10 weeks of the program. After all, I *got* this fat in 10 weeks, right? So I should be able to get as thin as I want in 10 weeks too, right?

Again, riiiiiiiiight. :)

So, I'll keep plugging away. I noticed last week, when I got up early Wednesday morning to exercise, that Wednesday was by far my most productive day at work. As I've said before, the b*tch about exercise is everything people say about it is true - you have more energy, you sleep better, and you're typically in a better mood. Except when you picture yourself doing walking push-ups.

Maybe...

I was in a meeting this morning with a colleague named Miriam. She is beautiful. I mean, capital "B" beautiful - tall, slender, tons of gorgeous dark hair, classic features - beautiful. Plus, she's intelligent and well-travelled, with a fantastic Biblical name. In the words of Carrie Fisher from When Harry Met Sally: "...your basic nightmare..."

As I was washing my hands in the bathroom after our meeting, I took stock in the mirror as I usually do - bright red hair in a messy up-do (which I like to think is "tousled" and "stylish" rather than "messy"), white skin with visible pores, eye make-up that's holding up pretty well for 11:30 in the morning. I gave myself a shrug, still thinking of the gorgeous Miriam, then heard a voice in my head:

"Maybe she wishes she looked like you."

"Right," I thought. "Like a gorgeous Latina would want to trade places with a snub-nosed German-Irish girl with thighs like Schwarzenegger."

"Maybe she would," the voice countered.

Hmmm. Maybe.

And maybe insecurity doesn't discriminate based on age, weight, ethnicity.

Maybe.

It's a thought.

Recovery

Just when I thought the sinus gunk was gone, it came back with a VENGEANCE Sunday night and wiped me out for most of Monday and Tuesday. If I'd had any sick time at all accumulated at the new job, I would have tried to sleep it off but instead tried to power through with a combo of Tylenol and Mucinex D. I think it may finally have worked (along with frequent uses of the NeilMed Sinus Rinse - wish I got a royalty every time I endorsed them!) and I think I'm doing much better.

Better enough that I crawled out of bed this morning (after hitting snooze multiple times!) and panted through a level 1 workout. Technically, today was 10 days after I started the 30 Day Shred and I should be moving up, but after three days off I didn't think that was a particularly smart idea. All I need now is to get turned off of the program by trying to do too much too fast! Instead, I contented myself with making it all the way through the first set of Big Girl Push-Ups (15 push-ups! I am a MACHINE!) and doing 7 or 8 on the second set before modifying them and dropping to my knees. And it's getting to be much later in the sets of squats and lifts that I feel like my arms are going to burst into flames, so I think it's working. Maybe another day or two on level 1 and I'll try to move up. Saturday, maybe - so I have plenty of time to recover before additional motion is necessary? :)

On another level, I came to something of an epiphany today as I was looking around the group of people in the Bible study I attend Wednesdays at lunch. All the women in there are women I love, and each one is absolutely beautiful in her unique ways. And all of them are about the same height, the same weight, approximately the same body type. I'd classify each of them in their physical attributes as "average". And I, in comparison to these wonderful ladies, am simply "above average". And I think that's kinda cool. :)

Disheartening...

Well, the first great weigh in didn't go as well as I'd hoped. With hopes bouyed by all the stories I'd read on the Interwebs about people who lost 5 pounds the first week on the Shred, I had unreasonably high expectations. So when the scale showed only a 1.5 pound loss, I was bummed. I shouldn't have been, because hey - it's 1.5 pounds! - but I was. I forgot for a moment how my body works - I retain more water than the Hoover Dam with little to no provocation, and have muscles like an Austrian bodybuilder in my legs that puff up anytime I do any sort of lower body exercise (like Jillian's squats of doom). So, while the scale didn't show as much movement as I'd hoped, I still do think progress is being made. After all, during my Farrell's adventure, I only lost about 3 pounds but TONS of inches. But still, when you weigh as much as a Nebraska Cornhuskers lineman, the numbers on the scale still affect you. :(

I took Sunday off, since I had to leave for church at 7:15 yesterday morning and spent the whole morning there on the praise team. While I love being part of that group, it does eat up the whole morning! No workout Sunday, and LOTS of food that I shouldn't have eaten, so I felt pretty gross throughout the day. You'd think I'd learn that when I eat garbage I feel like garbage - perhaps someday that parallel will sink in. No workout this morning either, since the thunderstorms we've had roll through Des Moines nearly EVERY night for the past week woke me up at 4:30 this morning and I overslept after finally falling back to sleep. So I can hit the workout tonight, but need to get it done in the morning the rest of the week. My oh-so-packed social life :) has me out after work every other night this week.

I'm slated to move up to level 2 on Wednesday, which frightens me. All the reviews I've read say level 2 is much worse than level 1. Then again, those reviews said I could lose 5 pounds in the first week too - so I better take them with a grain of salt. :)

Two in a row! Two in a row!

Summer, you will not keep me down! Despite a disgusting level of humidity on Friday night and again this morning, I powered through two Level One workouts last night and this morning. I was absolutely DRIPPING by the end of Friday night's workout, and this morning watched as the torrential rainfall filled up the creek in the pasture outside my window as I panted through another workout. I actually tried full-on push-ups last night (no more of this girly stuff!) and managed to make it through seven or eight of them this morning. Before you scoff, YOU try to do full-on push-ups and tell me how many you can do. :) C'mon, post it in the comments - I want to know who's trying it!

Again, maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think my arms are getting more toned thanks to these workouts. They're still more than flabby, but I feel like there's more definition on my shoulders. Triceps are the bane of every woman's existence, and there are few things better for them than push-ups, so I may add some extra reps in after I finish the DVD. I heard Jillian Michaels say in another DVD that your arms are the one part of your body that is most often naked in front of other people - a prospect I find absolutely TERRIFYING.

Weigh in tomorrow - c'mon, KnitPicks.com sale! :)

Clearing the hurdles

Thanks to the wonders of massive fluid consumption, Zicam and NielMed Sinus Rinse (don’t be grossed out – this stuff really works!) the nasty summer cold that hit me Tuesday seems to be receding. It receded enough that I felt like working out again Thursday night, after skipping Tuesday and Wednesday. I felt so nasty Tuesday and Wednesday that all I could do those nights was curl up on my couch with my knitting and sneeze. So, looks like Mistress Jillian will have to content herself with a 28 Day Shred on this girl. We’ll see what it comes to!

The workout was still pretty tough, especially after being away for two days and still not being able to breathe all that well. The bonus of taking two days off was that by Thursday afternoon I was finally able to walk down a flight of stairs normally, and after last night’s workout I spent another five minutes or so stretching out my quadriceps and this morning there’s nary a whimper from them. My calves are still sore, but that’s more manageable than the quad pain that made it impossible to use any stall in the ladies’ room except the handicap one.

Mistress Jillian of the Sculpted Arms recommends 10 days on Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred, 10 days on Level 2, and so on. But I’m feeling good enough about Level 1 that I may move up sooner. I still have to do girly push-ups from my knees, but I’m thinking tonight I might try at least starting on my toes and dropping down whenever I need to in order to finish the set. I feel like I’m getting a much better workout on my abs, as well, and they’re starting to tell me so today as I type.

I’m hoping to eventually get the workouts done in the mornings, since there are usually a thousand and one things I’d rather do after work than sweat in front of my DVD player, but so far all my workouts have been evening ones. I’d like to get in the morning routine this weekend and keep it up. The one bad thing I’ve noticed (and this happened at Farrell’s as well) is that if I don’t get enough water before a workout I get a screamin’ headache post-exercise. I mentioned this to my mom, who immediately freaked out about high blood pressure and all that. I’m not too concerned about it, but do need to pay more attention to my water consumption. All my reusable bottles, however, are currently in the dishwasher awaiting sterilization. :)

Is it just me, or is my face starting to look thinner already? And I think my jeans were a wee bit easier to zip up this morning too. Could be just wishful thinking, but I hope so. I’ll weigh in again Sunday, since my friend Sarah (hi, Sarah!) and I agreed not to buy any more knitting toys until we’d lost 5 pounds. KnitPicks.com is having a sale, kids – let’s get this in gear.

Whatever motivates you, right?

Can't get derailed...

Forgive me, Mistress Jillian of the Sadistic Squats, but I skipped my workout yesterday. A gross summer cold hit me about 2 p.m. yesterday, causing my head to feel like it was three times its normal size and making me sneeze constantly from 2 p.m. on. That, coupled with a visit from family last night (including my 18-month-old niece Chloe, who I suspect gave me the cold; good thing she's super-cute and is learning to call me "Ih-bee", which saves her from my wrath! :) ), made me skip working out last night. So, it will have to be a 29 Day Shred for me. Think doubling up on a workout (once I'm able to walk normally, that is...) will count?

I can't let this derail me, just when I feel like I'm finally getting my groove on. I'm supposed to be meeting friends for dinner tonight (I've already scoped out the menu, and the vegetarian lasagne there looks AMAZING!) so I'm hoping I'll have time to work out once I get home. I should have done it this morning, but the stinkin' Mucinex D I took at 6 last night kept me awake most of the night. Should have known when I read the reviews on the Web that it would do that - I'm the girl who can't take NyQuil without getting all hepped up and bouncing off the walls. Oh well - onward, my friends! Onward!

Pain

Procrastination wasn’t necessarily my goal with this blog, but I seem to have achieved it quite nicely. I’m now down to 29 days before I leave for London, and according to the scale Sunday morning I am actually two pounds heavier than when I started posting on this blog.

Neat.

HOWEVER – lest you despair, gentle readers – there has been significant progress made in the last three days on Ivy’s quest to get less fat or die trying. First, on the psychological front of this war against fat, I think I’ve finally figured something out.

Many of you who are reading this (I think there are about four of you now – hurrah!) know that I’ve been a follower of Jesus for a dozen years, and I’ve been rather half-heartedly asking for His assistance in this quest. But I never really believed that it would make a difference, or that He’d even want to be a part of this seemingly hopeless undertaking wherein I attempt to get less fat or die trying. :)

Then, last week, I began participating in a group discussion of what is turning out to be a fantastic book – The Good and Beautiful God, by James Bryan Smith.

The focus of the book (as far as I can tell, but we’re only on chapter two) is on finding the false things we’ve been told or that we’ve told ourselves about God, and replacing them with the truths as represented by Jesus in the New Testament. Now, regardless of what you believe about Jesus/God/The Bible, I’m telling you that reading this book and letting the things Jesus says about God and about Himself sink in have profoundly changed something inside of me in the past three days. That's a true a statement as ever I've made. After reading the chapter we were assigned for this week, I spent about an hour on Sunday crying and venting and really digging deep to figure out why I feel the way I feel about myself and my body. What I emerged with was this – I don’t feel compelled to take care of my body, or even care about it at all, because I was convinced no one would ever want it. Being single for 32 years, and not having an end to that situation in sight, will do a number on a girl’s self-image sometimes, and I had let it happen to me. But thanks to the words I read Sunday, and the way God spoke through them, I believe I am done with that way of thinking. Hallelujah. :)

So, after I got through that emotional minefield, I popped in my new copy of Jillian Michaels’ “30 Day Shred” DVD on Sunday afternoon.

Sweet bleedin’ gingerbread.

I cannot walk up the stairs.

I cannot walk down the stairs.

I cannot get up from my chair.

I cannot sit down in my chair.

And let’s not even talk about sitting down to go to the bathroom.

It’s WORKING.

I remember this feeling – it’s like the first week of the Farrell’s eXtreme Bodyshaping experience, only distilled into two screaming quadriceps. When I watched the first circuit of the workout, I didn’t think it looked so bad. They were all moves I had done before, and I was sure I could handle it. Well, I could handle it –during the workout. It’s the morning after that is killing me. And I can’t wait to do it again tonight!

The moves are all combination moves, designed to work the most muscles in the least amount of time. So, while on resistance training days at Farrell’s we would do sets of squats with bands, in Jillian’s World of Pain we do squats with dumbbell raises to work both arms and legs. Then there are side lunges with raises. And more squats. Then some jumping jacks. Then more squats. Then some pushups. Then more squats. Then punches done while (you guessed it) doing squats. I’m typing the word “squats” so often that the word is beginning to stop making sense.

It’s AWESOME.

I’ve made it through two workouts so far, and am on track to pound it out again tonight. The whole set is only about 25 minutes, the pace is quick enough that I don’t get bored, and just about the time I’m ready to die from those stinkin’ squats, Jillian Mistress of Sadism is on to the next move. I've never seen her on "The Biggest Loser" and I've heard conflicting opinions on her style, but in this video I really like her. She's encouraging but still tough, and things like, "You want changes? They don't come for free..." are exactly what I need to hear right now.

So, between the Holy Spirit and Jillian Michaels, I finally feel like I’m on my way. And that may just be the strangest sentence I’ve ever written.

Neat. :)

Weekend FAIL...

Yikes - not a great start to the Great London Preparation Workout Plan. Didn't get a workout in this weekend, or this morning. Eating was pretty much OK through the weekend, with the exception of the trip to Hy-Vee for groceries last night. I was kinda hungry when we got there, and it just got worse as we went through the store. By the time we had a cart full of groceries, I was grabbing anything and everything that appealed to my baser nature. :) King-size Snickers? Check. Ben & Jerry's Brownie Batter? Check. And look - Ben & Jerry's is on sale too. You lose money when you don't buy in bulk, after all! Duh. :\

I could try to blame hormones, an overscheduled weekend, this weird sore throat thing that's been going on since Thursday - whatever. Fact is, the weekend wasn't what I wanted it to be from a diet/nutrition standpoint, but from other standpoints it was a great three days. So, I need to accept the mix of the two, learn from them, and move on. C'mon, tomorrow!

Day Two results...

Day Two (4/30) was pretty much a wash, thanks to my lack of a morning workout and my final Food Friday in the office. A lunch meeting with Palmer's Deli catered in (mmmm... brownies...) did not help, nor did the two glasses of Sangiovese Novello, the farfelle with Alfredo sauce, and the white chocolate bread pudding (snarf!) at Biaggi's. But dinner was worth it - the random junk I ate during the day wasn't worth it. Seriously, who needs a double-chocolate muffin from Costco? That isn't even that great? Thankfully, I only ate about a third of the muffin (which actually equals about two regular-sized muffins you'd make at home) and tossed the rest out. I always feel bad about throwing food away, but rather in my trash can than in my arteries, I guess. :)

So, I'm calling Friday my "free day" and staying on the wagon for the weekend. I'm hoping to take just one free day a week to maximize weight loss, and keep that day on either a Friday or Saturday, but life sometimes happens. And wine sometimes happens, too. :)

Looking to do some resistance training later this afternoon, then another cardio workout tomorrow. The P90X workout DVDs I ordered on eBay arrived the other day, and are sitting in the corner of my bedroom - mocking me. I am afraid of those workouts. Anybody out there done them and lived to tell?

Day One results...

(Meant to post this last night, but the gale-force winds whipping through Central Iowa kept me from connecting to the wireless network transmitter we use a quarter-mile away. Life on the farm is kinda laid back, you know...)

Day One of the ten week challenge went pretty well - rolled out of bed after going three rounds with the snooze alarm (it finally won on the third round) and grabbed the workout clothes I laid out the night before. Rather than heading back to the Farrell's location I've been visiting since last summer, I've decided to take what I learned there and put it into my own workout program. It will save me nearly 25 minutes of drive time each morning, plus the mental anguish inflicted by having to listen to either Motley Crue or Taylor Swift workout songs at 6 a.m. I put together my own mix of workout songs (which I will not list here for fear of being publically shamed, since I have been told I have the musical sensibilities of a 12-year-old girl) and loaded them up on my iPod nano this weekend. I headed down to the exclusive gym in my basement, open only to those with red hair and thick ankles. :)

Thirty minutes, six songs, 50 push-ups, and innumerble sit-ups later, my first workout was done. I’d use the breaks between songs as my cues to hop on the elliptical trainer, switch between push-ups/sit-ups, or some of my favorite kickboxing combinations. It worked out pretty well, and I didn't have to deal with 80s music or instructors telling me I was "coasting". :) I need to keep telling myself that in my head, but I don't think I ever did coast. At least not in the first workout. :) My abs are definitely sore today, so I think I did all right.

Issues I encountered yesterday:
- Earbuds kept slipping out of my ears as I punched or used the arm supports on the elliptical. Apparently, even my ear canals sweat. (Sorry if that's TMI for some of you.) New over-the-ear phones should fix that.
- The floor at my exclusive gym is HARD. Doing girl push-ups on a hard floor with a bad knee is not fun. Tried using a pillow under my knees, but it kept sliding out. Will need to find a cheapie yoga mat or something to substitute for the padded floor at Farrell's.
- Kept my eating pretty much under control, except for the impulse buy of Swedish Fish at Target when I went shopping for new earphones over my lunch hour. But they were on sale! You lose money if you don't buy in bulk!

Haven't attempted a workout yet today, and my eating has been OUT OF CONTROL thanks to my final Food Friday at the office. It isn't looking much better for tonight, since a friend and I are going to Biaggi's for her birthday. Perhaps today will be my cheat day, and I'll stick to the plan for the weekend. Or perhaps not. :\

Ten weeks from today...

Ten weeks from today (well, ten weeks from about seven hours ago...) I'll be getting off the plane at Heathrow, ready to embark on my very first solo vacation. I'll be spending a whole week in London on my own - a prospect that is both thrilling and terrifying. :) And in order to be in the best shape I possibly can (and to be adequately prepared to fight off all those Jude Law lookalikes) it's time to kick the old workout plan into high gear.

Nearly a year ago (eek!) I went through the Farrell's eXtreme Body Shaping ten week program and had fantastic results. Then, true to form, I figured the results would just keep happening even when I stopped exercising as regularly and ate whatever I wanted. Because that's just exactly what an intelligent woman should expect to have happen, right? And why again has it taken me 32 years to figure out that this philosophy doesn't work?

So, beginning tomorrow, I begin again. Given that the ten week program did fantastic things last summer, I want to take these next ten weeks and put the pedal to the metal before my London trip. And I'd like to have all my cyber-buddies along with me. Mainly, because I need to be shamed in front of you when I fail to live up to my own goals. :) Enough of this, "I'll start tomorrow..." nonsense - I really DO start tomorrow, and I'd like to have you all there with me.

I'll be back here each evening, in this little corner of the Interwebs, to report to you all my exercise and nutrition efforts for the day - as well as any other random thoughts that I feel inclined to share. If you'd like to share your random thoughts as well, I would be pleased and proud to read them.

Ain't this gonna be great? :)